bookworm (satachan) wrote in mable54,

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 Hi I'm new here and I'm looking for some feedback on a futuristic sci-fi that I'm writing. This is the first part of chapter one. Please comment!
      The bluish gray carpet in the school always made Casey feel sick. There was something about the color that always bothered her. She didn’t like it. Blue mixed in with gray to produce a feeling that was appropriate for a school environment and just forced a quiet place. Serena would freak id she saw this carpet. She would probably start whining on how bad the carpet looked and why it was bad and what should be done about it in the name of “public art and beauty”. Wonderful, just wonderful.
            Michael on the other hand, wouldn’t make as much of a complaint. He was more of the kind of guy that didn’t notice these types of things.
            I still feel sick when I look at this carpet, she sent to him while they were walking over to history class.
            Yes, you rub it in my face every day, he sent back shaking his head in annoyance. Casey just snickered and kept walking.
            All the classrooms had special interferers that stopped any thoughts being transmitted from student to student midway so it was impossible to communicate. Only the teacher could talk by wearing a special band over her head that countered the interferers and let her transmit her thoughts to ten people at once instead of the usual one that everybody else could. Being a teacher was still considered a tough job because of all the transmitting that had to be done to make sure every student heard a lecture and because of all the monitoring teachers had to do to make sure that no one was passing notes. Many students got away with it anyway.
            The history classroom had the same sickly bluish gray carpet as the hall with pale pee colored yellow walls that looked like they were being choked to death and screaming redecoration. The desks were made out of fake wood with metal legs. The wood was worn from being abused by pencils, pens, markers, eyeliner, or whatever else that could be used to write with. Casey could hear Serena now. Writing is the last tool we have against the restraints of public education. I personally prefer to use lubricant. When the masses see that on the wall it creates more of a scene. A small chuckle managed to slip out of Casey and suddenly all eyes were on her.
            I don’t know what you find so funny Miss Cameri but please have the courtesy to keep it to yourself and not disrupt the class, Mrs. Rodney, the teacher scolded. Casey sent back a sorry, ma’am, and nodded. She must have continued the lecture because the students that were taking notes before started to do so again.
            Casey examined the drawings on her desk while she waited for Mrs. Rodney to give the lecture to her group. They consisted of the usual arrow-through-heart and profanity and gossip. Apparently, Marcus Crosty flirted with a guy while on a date with his girlfriend.
            Getting bored, Casey took out a piece of already ripped paper as discretely as she could. She wrote, ‘Isn’t this so unnecessary? The teacher’s have been telling us this stuff for years!’ and folded it six times. She took it and tossed it on floor and threw it so that it went near Michael’s desk. He bent down and reached to get it. Mrs. Rodney didn’t notice.
            Michael read the note and passed a reply. ‘It’s useful. Why would the education board have it if it wasn’t useful?” Casey was just about to write a reply before she saw Mrs. Rodney coming over to give a lecture. She hid the scraps under her notebook.
            Turn to page 154, her voice sounded in her head, Let’s read through page 168 mentally and each point out five positive effects of the Neuro Conversion and explain why these effects benefit society. Casey groaned in her head as the lecture began:
            On January 13, 2056 a scientific miracle occurred that would change society forever. Drs. William N. Schmidt and Neil K. Warren invented a way to use molecules in the air to transmit neurons carrying memories of sound patterns from one brain to the other. This process was done by inserting a radio like device near the part of the brain that controls speech and connecting it to the ear canal. This way if anyone wanted to say something, the neurons would be sent from the part of the brain that controls speech to the radio like device and straight to the ear canal of the other person. The device will intercept the signals and send it straight through to the brain without going to the ear drum. In this way, there is less pressure on the ear drums that improves over-all hearing, there is less pollution caused by noise because there is no need to speak anymore overall creating a better society.
            WindTalk was patented on May 21, 2057 and gained almost immediate approval from the government and only a few months later a plan was approved that was the beginning of what is now known as the Neuro Conversions. At the age three months all babies were required to get the device implanted. In three short years the entire United States had converted to Neuro communication and in another five years the rest of the world followed. At this time there is not a single person in this world without the device in their brain.
            WindTalk has also helped humanity in other ways. While spreading the Neuro Conversion world leaders discovered a major obstacle, Africa. A majority of Africa was still centuries behind in economical progress. There were villages in extreme poverty living in ditches and hovels at best. Most of the population had never seen houses, concrete, or cars and had never heard of outside civilization. Thanks to WindTalk more effort was placed to industrialize remote regions of Africa. Many schools and hospitals were built. More jobs were made available in an effort to build houses, roads, and parks. Yellow fever, typhoid fever, and a number of parasites that were once a part of daily life in Africa are now extremely rare…
            Casey started getting sleepy at this point. She had heard this lecture every year since kindergarten. Nothing like a boring teacher to give an insomniac peace of mind. Needless to say, however, she noticed. Is there anything else you would rather be doing right now, Miss Crawner?
            Casey didn’t respond. It’s always better not to. Michael is probably looking at her in shame. Apparently she should at least “try”. Casey didn’t think it was worth it. She wouldn’t dare fail anyone anyway.
            It’s your future, Miss Crawner. You’re the only one that can make it or break it. How creepy is it when teachers try to talk like kids? It’s disturbing.
Don’t you just hate history? Casey complained after class during lunch. The schools just served rations to deal with the growing food shortage because of the population surge. If anyone wanted to eat anything else they would have to steak it in through security in school. Everyone was searched before entering the building to provide a “safe learning environment.” Hah. But, she and a couple of other people managed to make a pretty penny smuggling in food for other students.
            Ew, girl. Don’t talk about that stuff here, I’m eating. Serena, from the high school section of the building piped up. She always ate with her and Michael. After all, she couldn’t ever really have a complete discussion with any of her “boyfriends.” They were always mindless sex addicts.
            Casey, like almost every other girl, was always a bit jealous of Serena somewhere inside. Serena was physically perfect. Perfect hips, perfect hair, perfect weight, nice and bouncy double Ds, she had everything and wasn’t afraid to show it by walking down the halls with a different boy every hour. Michael lusted after her himself and everybody knew that as well. What man (or lesbian) wouldn’t?
            I know! They drill this in our brains for years and after we finally learn it, they make us just sit there and do nothing but hear them going on and on.
            Death by boredom. Wait until you get to Chemistry. They manage to have those “real life connections” that always go back to WindTalk. Now, on a brighter note look who’s coming after this.
            Sure enough, when Casey and Michael turned around to look a twelfth grade guy was heading towards their table no doubt for Serena. He didn’t stop and sit, he just winked and said huskily to Serena, My place at ten, baby? Serena giggled, I’ll be there if you want me enough. He smiled again and she smiled right back at him until Michael finally found it in himself to say to Casey, privately, Slut.
            Casey didn’t have much to say to that. Serena had her own opinions and methods for dealing with stress. Casey tried not to be judgmental. Serena had her perks too. Michael was a hypocrite, in his own way.
            The bell rang signaling the end of the lunch hour. Michael stood up half a second before it rang and disposed the remainder of the food that he didn’t have the appetite to stomach. Serena looked dead-panned when he stomped past her as if she didn’t exist. Casey didn’t worry, they would make up by the end of the day.
            So there they were, back in class, Michael and Casey in the middle school section and Serena probably flirting with someone in the high school section. As soon as they (Michael and Casey) passed through the door the interceptor started taking effect and their communication dropped. Class started and everybody went into the usual activities of waiting their turn for the lecture, secret communication, and notes.
            Still holding a grudge? Casey teased.
            When was the last time you’ve been with a guy other than me?Michael retaliated.
            That’s none of your business.
            That’s pathetic. I would have thought that with someone like Serena calling you every night you would be all over her and her so called boyfriends.
            Casey and Michael decided to stop their conversation for the time being.
            Class went on as usual for a while before the lockdown siren started howling. Everybody got up laughing at the temporary break until the teacher started hushing them. That was unusual, she looked nervous.
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