agilitygirl (agilitygirl) wrote in mable54,

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Hitchhiker influence

It is so very lovely when you have friends that know your references and have a similar sense of humor as you.  The following story began when a friend and I were wandering his campus.  I asked what building was that over there, and he had no idea.  I spotted a sign that said directory clearly upon it.  Thinking that a directory might tell me where I was, I headed over, just to find that the thing was blank.  It told me nothing about the campus, and even less about where I was.

Rebbekah slouched just a little under the weight of her pack.  It was an old beaten up yellow thing that clung to her with two thin little straps.  Over one shoulder was draped a blue towel.  She approached the board that labeled itself DIRECTORY. 

“Hello there! How may I direct you today?”  Tired and worn out Rebbekah considered shooting the perky machine, but then she still wouldn’t be able to find her way.

“I need to get to Roit.”

“Good!  I can direct you to Roit from any point in the galaxy.” The high perky sounds the machine was emitting were starting to cause Rebbekah's left eye to twitch.  She would even swear that she knew the jig it was attempting to do.


“So what?”

“So how do I get there?”


“To Roit!”  Rebbekah’s hand tightened on her towel. 

“Well from A-A Aaron’s Grease pit you’ll start by entering orbit and heading toward Orion…”

“STOP!”  At this point Rebbekah’s eye was succeeding in its jig and she was breathing entirely harder than recommended in a space port.  Though she didn’t know it years later she would have to have a painful surgery to extract the life form that accidentally just found its way into her lungs. “How do I get to Roit from here?”

“I don’t know,” the directory answered in almost complete dead pan.

“But you know how to get there from any point in the galaxy?”

“I do.”

“So why don’t you tell me how to get there from here?”

“I don’t know where here is.”

“You what?”

“I don’t know where here is.”

“Surely you are kidding”

“My name is Jenny, and no I am not kidding.  I don’t know where here is.”
”Well Jenny.  How do I find out where I am?”

“You could consult your local directory!”

A loud noise emminated from Rebbekah similar to the sound of a very large truck skimming along the concrete barrier found dividing highways. 

“You are a directory, right?”

“Yes I am!  How may I direct you today?”

“I want to get to Roit.”  Rebbekah managed through teeth closed tighter than the legs of a vestal virgin.

“Good!  I can direct you to Roit from any point in the galaxy.”

“OK, how do I get to Roit from here?”

“I don’t know, please specify a starting point”

The discharge of Rebbekah’s gun made many of the travelers look at her suspiciously, and she didn’t know how to find her way.  On the plus side the smoldering hunk of metal made her feel much better.

“Share and enjoy,” a tinny voice muttered, with only a trace of its previous perk.

Thank you, Thank you Douglas Adams.  Without nerds around the world would be at a loss for a context to thier inside jokes.

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