mystic_heart87 (mystic_heart87) wrote in mable54,

All oR noThIng

_*ALL Or NOtHiNG_*

Every song on the radio makes me think of you
Every comment people make
reminds me of things you do
I try to close my eyes
and block you from my mind
but my thoughts won't be still
it's memories of you I find

I can't have you as a lover
I have problems of my own
but without you in my life
I feel so horribly alone

You were a good man
I was happy, safe and secure
I tried to enjoy the moment
and understand how you felt so sure

My walls are in place
protecting me from my past
my ghosts are all around me
my fear being the only thing to last
I don't know what to do
to feel I have the right
or what I need to find
to let me sleep through the night

I had hoped what I found in you
would be able to fix it all
but reality kept intruding
and my hopes began to fall

I'm tired of fighting for my happiness
and I let you go
even though I know it was right
I still miss you so

And now I have to decide
if I can have you in my life
this all or nothing choice
cuts like a knife

My selfish desires
and my conscience are conflicting
either way one of us
gets the pain I am inflicting

I lose no matter what
I don't know what I should do
but I'm so afraid of what will happen
I can't leave it up to you
so I try to close my eyes
and block you from my mind
but my thoughts wander back to you
and memories are all I find
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