(no subject)

Hey, I'm new here and I was hoping to get some feedback on my story.  So here it is:

I was lonely without Jesse.  Shawn was at the grocery store, buying food for dinner and hopefully some silverware and plates too.  Alice had gone off to shower, complaining that she smelt like an airplane.  Jack was taking a hike through the woods, hoping to discover a charming place to show Alice.  He had invited me to come but I had declined, citing the heat as an excuse.

I paced around for a while.  Then I went into every bedroom and tried to image what furniture we would fill it with.  After that, I contemplated going out to meet the neighbors but just couldn’t muster the enthusiasm.

Finally, I settled on calling Jesse to talk to him.  I went up to my room, smiled at the painting, and pulled my cell phone out of my suitcase.  I dialed Jesse’s number without having to think about it.  He picked up on the first ring.

“Bella,” he sighed into the phone.

“Hey, Jesse,” I said, happiness bursting out of my mouth with every letter I spoke.  “How’s the drive so far?”

“Not bad.  I’m making great time.  I’ll be there soon,” he said, longing flavoring his words.  I smiled.  Knowing that he missed me was a mood-booster.  But it was hearing his voice that really made my mood reach euphoric proportions.  I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the carpet.

“I miss you.  I wish you were here so you could see the room we have.  It’s way too big and it has an attached bathroom with a shower and a Jacuzzi tub.  Alice made me take it,” I told him, smiling into the phone.

“I’m glad she did!  That sounds awesome.  I’m even more excited to get there now.  We can definitely utilize that tub,” he joked, laughing.  I giggled too, just glad that he would be home tomorrow.  Late tomorrow, but still tomorrow.

“There’s also a surprise,” I hinted, smiling because I knew that he would be dying to know what it was.

“Really?  Does it have anything to do with the tub?” he carried on the joke.  I smiled at his innuendo.

“No, it doesn’t.  It’s better than that.”

“Really?  What is it?”

“I’m not going to tell you!”

“What if I guess?” he said.  I could just imagine his smile as he said it.

“Hmm…. Maybe,” I agreed.

“Is it a lawn chair?”  I laughed.


“Is it a pony?”


“A unicorn then?”

“No,” I giggled.

“Hmm... Is it a bed with a million count sheets and pillowcases of real gold thread?”

“No.  Although that sounds nice,” I said into the phone.

“Is it a painting?” he said seriously.  I paused; surprised that he had gotten it.  “Of you and me?  In the woods?  Holding each other?”

“Yes, how did you know?” I asked bewildered.  I was a tad disappointed that the surprise had been ruined.

Alice called me as soon as she saw it when she came to look at the house.”  I should have known that Alice would have told him.  “It was sort of a present.  Do you remember what today is?” he asked.

“It’s June twenty-first…” I had to stop to figure out what he meant.  “Oh my gosh!  It’s our anniversary!  Jesse!  You didn’t tell me!  I can’t believe I forgot.  I’m so ashamed of myself for forgetting.  Now I wish you were here even more,” I said.  I suddenly felt very alone and very empty without Jesse beside me.  “I miss you,” I said softly.

“I miss you too.  But don’t worry.  We’ll be together soon.  Alice has arranged something for us,” he promised.  I wrapped my arm around my knees and leaned my head against the wall behind me.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll show you when I get there,” he promised.  “I have to go now.  I found a rest stop and I need to fill up on gas and feed.  But I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Okay.  I love you.”

“I love you too, Bella,” he said as he hung up the phone.  I snapped my cell shut.  I felt even lonelier now.  I looked out toward the window wall.  The sun was setting.  Shawn should be home soon.


Im new to LJ, and the very first thing i did was look for a communty of writers.

I have one posted on some ghettoass site, but its readable. and its my work.
Please read it and give me input.
The site separated it into two, but just follow the link.

The story is one of  many of mine, i actually finished this one. Not that im happy with it at all.
It follows a teenage girl through England when World War III breaks out.

(no subject)

Hey there, just starting out and working on an extended project. I write fantasy, with a realistic edge to it.

The premise:

The diary of a trainee, or side-kick as he learns what it means to be under the shadow of a hero and where his place in the world is. Marty is a recently graduated soldier training under an Ordinator, named Gracon, who is a decorated warrior.

Outside The Limelight